Empty

Empty.  Aside from ourselves, the business that my husband and I own and operate sits empty right now.  

This small business of ours, focused on educational support, would normally be bustling with a bevy of vivacious students ready to learn along with a team of talented staff members eager to instruct.

But like many other business owners, we had to close our doors last month, and so our business sits empty.  

And empty is how we feel.

We took ownership of the business less than a year ago, in July 2019.  It wasn’t a decision we made lightly.  We had prayed and patiently waited for the right business opportunity for over a year.  And when the door began to open for us to purchase this business, we and the previous owner agreed that God had brought us together.  

Still, we didn’t jump right in.  We continued to wait and pray for many months, until we were certain of our decision and certain the time was right.  Only then did we move forward.

My husband took the helm for the first month of operation as I continued working my full-time job. The following month, I left my job, walking away from the only career I had ever known – a career that had spanned 25 years. I then joined hands with my husband as we jumped in with both feet, heart and soul, and set sail on this new adventure of running a business together.

It’s a business that we are passionate about and that is so rewarding to be a part of.  We are blessed with the opportunity to provide educational instruction and support to a wide array of students of all ages – students whom we’ve had the joy to witness making so much progress and the privilege to celebrate their success.  

And we couldn’t ask for a more dedicated staff.  Staff who openly embraced us as their new bosses and gave us their full support.  Staff who continued to give their all and never missed a beat.  Staff who stepped up when we had to step away, only a few months into ownership, to be with our son during multiple hospitalizations and recovery from a life-threatening accident.  Staff who have become like family to us.

So the day we closed our doors last month … that was a heart wrenching day – a day filled with tears and mourning.  A day that we’ve grieved ever since.

Grieved over the employees we had to layoff.  Grieved over the students we could no longer instruct.  Grieved over the dream that was suddenly interrupted. 

We pray that it’s only a temporary pause, but who knows how long temporary will last.

Meanwhile the bills don’t stop. The bills – both business and personal – the bills still come.

Yes, the government has promised aid, but the application and approval process has been wrought with issues and delays. We’ve applied for what we can, but nothing has come through yet.  Who knows when or if it will.  

In the meantime, we are making do as best we can and are hoping and praying for the best. 

We are also doing all we can to continue to support our business partnerships and to accommodate the needs of our students during this time.  We began offering online instruction last week and are so happy to do so.  It’s been great to reconnect with the students who are participating.

Still, we miss interacting face-to-face.  And we miss connecting with the other students who aren’t currently partaking in online instruction.

We also miss visiting the school campuses who participate in our in-school programs and interacting with those students and teachers.  We miss working with our office personnel and instructors.  We miss the camaraderie and community.  

We miss celebrating successes, both big and small.  We miss the moments of enlightenment and engagement.  We miss the opportunity to make more of a difference.

And all that we are missing is what leaves us empty.

But yet we have hope.  

Hope that we will reopen someday in the not too distant future.  Hope that we will be rejoined with our staff and students.  Hope that our business will once again be brimming with learning, laughter, and life.

Hope that we will collectively emerge from all of this stronger, wiser, better.

Hope that what is empty will soon be refilled – refilled to overflowing.

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“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” ‭‭Psalm 23:4-6 (NIV)

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)