The Gift of Suffering

The gift of suffering?  Seems like an oxymoron – two contradictory terms used together.  I think it’s fair to say that most of us would rather avoid suffering.  And if someone were to offer us suffering as a gift, we might question whether that person understands what a gift really is. 

After all, a gift is something that brings us happiness and pleasure to give and receive, right?  I even took to an online search to see how “gift” is defined in the dictionary, and the first definition that appeared in my search results read, “a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.”  Yeah, I doubt suffering is a present that many of us would willingly choose to give or receive.

And if we had a choice in whether to receive said gift, we would probably decline receipt.  If we were being polite, it might go something like this, “Oh wow, I appreciate you thinking of me, but I really can’t accept such a gift … Oh, what’s that?  You insist?  Again, thank you for thinking of me, but I just really can’t accept it…”   

Or if we were to receive the gift unknowingly and opened it up to find suffering inside, we might just close the box right back up and head straight to the return line, if given that option.

But we often aren’t given either of those choices, are we?  When suffering comes our way, we often don’t have a choice in the matter.  No choice of whether to receive it and no option to return it – it’s one of those “no returns once opened” kind of deals.

And while it’s true that we may not have a choice in receiving it, we do have a choice in how we receive it and in how we perceive it.

Stay with me here.  I’m not about to tell you to be happy for the circumstances that you have been through or that you’re going through.  I’m not telling you that everything happens for a reason.  I’m not even telling you that the pain you’re experiencing now will be used for a greater purpose later that you can’t yet see – because even if that’s true, it does not lessen the pain that you’re feeling right now.

And though I may not know what your pain is, I know the weight of pain is heavy – and it’s something we need to allow ourselves to feel.

As I lay in bed early this morning, I allowed myself to do just that.  I allowed myself to not only feel the pain itself as I have done before, but I allowed myself to feel the weight of the pain.  My personal pain, the pain of my loved ones, the pain of family and friends both near and far, the pain of neighbors and community, the pain of my small world and the world at large – it’s all so heavy.  And as I allowed myself to feel this heaviness, my walls came crumbling down by the weight of it all.

In tearful prayer, I surrendered it all to the Lord, and I asked, “How?  How did you carry the weight of it all, Jesus?  The pain I feel for those I know and love and the pain I feel for the world around me feels so heavy.  It’s overwhelming.  It’s more than I can bear.  And yet what I see and feel is only a glimpse of what you experienced on the cross.  You saw and felt it all.  Not only what is now, but what was and what is yet to be. The weight of this whole world – past, present, and future.”

And that’s when it hit me.  This – this is the gift of suffering.  Only through suffering are our eyes opened to begin to understand the price that Jesus paid for us and just how great our God is.

And this became my prayer, “Jesus, Man of Sorrows, it wasn’t the cross that killed You, but rather the weight of our sin and suffering.  You bore the weight of it all on the cross.  You bore it all in our place.  Not just so we could be reconciled and join You in heaven someday, but so that we could experience heaven here and now.  And here and now, Jesus, I kneel in Your presence, and I give You my offerings.  Both my burdens and my blessings – I lay it all at Your feet.  You are worthy of it all.  So I offer it all to You as a living sacrifice.  And You … You graciously receive it all.  You lift up my chin, and You take my hand and raise me up.  And You say, “Walk with me, child.  Let me show you the way.”  And I know that You are The Way.  And as long as I keep my eyes on The Way, I will always be in step, my feet won’t slip, and my path will be straight.  And You will lead me on this path – this Path of Abundance, this Path of Life.”

It’s all so strange and mysterious and unexplainable – I had heard it said before, but now I finally understood it, now I finally had come to know it.  It’s through suffering that we find abundance.  It’s through suffering that we find life.  It’s through suffering that we find Jesus.

Not tradition.  Not religion.  But Jesus Himself.

That’s the gift of suffering. 

Yes, it is true that suffering can give us new perspectives.  Suffering can give us understanding, compassion, and empathy for others.  Suffering can help us identify with other people and support them in their pain.  And suffering can serve a greater purpose. 

And as needed and as beneficial as those things are, those things are not the gift.  The gift of suffering is that it leads us to our Suffering Savior, Jesus. Through our own suffering, we come to know Him more intimately, to love Him more completely, and to understand Him more fully.  And while there are things that we will never understand this side of heaven, we can understand that our God sees us, our God loves us, and our God is with us.  Our God does not cause our suffering, but He knows the suffering that we will face, and He promises to meet us in it.

Suffering is the gift that leads us to The Gift.  Jesus – Immanuel – God with us.

And I can feel it.  A weight is being lifted.  I no longer have to carry it.  For Jesus already has – from the cradle to the cross, He carried it all.

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“He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.”

Isaiah 53:3-5 (NKJV)