What Will People Think?

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “What will people think?”  Perhaps you’ve even uttered the phrase yourself.  It can be easy to get caught up in appearances, and we may not even realize that it’s happening.

Many situations have brought this to light in my life, one of which occurred when my son, Landry, was nine years old.  It started out like any other weekday.  We were going through our normal morning routine, and Landry came downstairs dressed for school in a sleeveless sport shirt.  The shirt seemed an odd choice since he didn’t particularly like to wear shirts of this type and had never worn one to school before, but I didn’t give it much thought otherwise and carried on with the usual routine.

Later that day, I regretted not putting more thought into the matter.  When Landry came home from school, he informed me that it had been yearbook picture day.  He typically would have dressed a bit nicer than usual for such an occasion; instead, he had dressed just the opposite.   Disparaging thoughts began running through my mind, such as, “Why had he chosen to wear that shirt on that day?  Even his normal attire would have been better than that.  How could I have forgotten about this?  I’m supposed to keep track of such things!”

That thought pattern would have likely continued until I had convinced myself that I was a horrible mom, had I not paused when I sensed a tug in my heart and the notion to ask Landry what he thought about it.  So I asked Landry what he thought, and his response went something like this, “It’s awesome!  Everyone will get to see my muscles in my yearbook picture!”

What a difference from what I had been thinking.  I realized in that moment that I had been concerned too much with how it would appear and what other people would think.  As it were, my forgetfulness had prevented me from making a decision based on appearances and had also brought some joy to my son in the process.   I thanked God for this awareness and breathed in a sigh of relief as my feelings of regret began to be replaced with feelings of gratitude.

And as it turned out, that school picture was the best one Landry had ever taken.  He had the biggest, most genuine grin on his face; it was a great likeness of him and perfectly expressed his personality.  I can’t help but smile every time I see it, and it serves as a gentle reminder to avoid getting caught up in appearances.

It was a reminder I would need at the end of that same school year.  On this occasion, Landry came downstairs dressed for school in mismatched clothes from head to toe.  I normally would have asked him to change, but we were already running behind, so I decided to let it go.

By the time Landry came home that day, I had already realized what he was about to announce as he walked through the door, “Mom, guess what today was?”  I responded, “I know, honey.  It was the Awards Ceremony.  I’m so sorry I missed it.  I mixed up the dates; I thought it was tomorrow.”

As I leaned down to give Landry a hug, I was overwhelmed with disheartening emotions.  I was upset that I had missed the ceremony, and I was certain that Landry was disappointed that I hadn’t come.  To top it off, he had to walk across the stage dressed in his mismatched clothes!  I asked myself, “How could something like this have happened again? What was wrong with me?”

However, I was then reminded of the lesson I had learned earlier that year, and I felt prodded to ask Landry how he felt about it, to which he simply replied, “Eh, it was boring.  You’re lucky you missed it.”  Then he began happily chattering about the rest of his day.  Instead of continuing to feel like a failure, I became thankful for yet another reminder to not get caught up in appearances and for the opportunity to see the truth.

Can you relate?  Do you ever make decisions, regardless of how large or how small, because you’re concerned about how things will appear to other people?  Do you put pressure on yourself or your loved ones because of your concern for what other people will think?  Do you place scrutiny on yourself when you feel like you’ve fallen short?  I encourage you to ask God to reveal circumstances in which you are making decisions or drawing conclusions based on appearances.  When we entrust this to God, we have the opportunity to see the events of our life from His perspective and to focus our attention on what truly matters.

“The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” – Proverbs 29:25 (MSG)

For additional insight on this topic, see my prior and subsequent posts this month and further study within the next month.