All the Pretty People
For much of my life, I have struggled with low self-esteem. These struggles have run deep and wide, resulting in years of self-deprecation and self-loathing, and for many years I struggled in silence. I wouldn’t dare bring it up to anyone because that would have just made me feel worse about myself. But eventually, after I was several years into adulthood, I began to voice my private struggles to others. In doing so, I found that others were surprised to hear my confession.
There is one reaction that sticks out in my mind. I was speaking to a lady whom I had recently met, and the topic came up in conversation. When I mentioned that I had struggled with low self-esteem, she stated that she found this hard to believe. I asked her why this was so, and she responded that it was because she thought that I was pretty and looked so well put together.
She barely knew me, and yet she had already formed an opinion based on my appearance. She wasn’t alone in this regard. As a matter of fact, every person that I’ve ever revealed this to has responded in kind, regardless of how little or well they knew me. Though they might cite varied reasons for their surprise or disbelief, my appearance was always included among the reasons.
It seems people have bought into the false belief that our appearance determines our worth. It’s no wonder, after all, this mantra dominates our culture. Everywhere we turn, all the pretty people are on display. They are celebrated, heralded, marketed, and exploited through every form of media. We are led to believe that our lives would be better if we were more like them and that we are otherwise missing out. We are bombarded with images of beautiful faces, sleek bodies, and photo-shopped perfection, touting that we are of less value as is and sending us on a wild goose chase for unachievable standards. And we are fed a steady diet of beauty, style, glitz, and glamour, promising fulfillment and satisfaction, only to leave us empty.
It’s all lure, and it’s all a lie. It doesn’t matter how attractive you are. It doesn’t matter your hair color, your eye color, or your skin color. It doesn’t matter if you’re tall and lean or short and plump. It doesn’t matter your chest size, your waist size, your hip size, or your shoe size. It doesn’t matter how fashionably you dress or how well you accessorize. It doesn’t matter how well put together you are. None of this determines your value, just like it doesn’t determine mine.
During all of my struggles with low self-esteem, never once, not a single time, has my reflection in the mirror ever changed my opinion. The only thing that has ever changed my opinion is the truth. The truth is that God loves me immeasurably, and there is nothing I can do to earn or lose His love; God made me for a reason, and I am exactly who God designed me to be. The same is true for you.
I’m not saying that we should throw out our beauty products, dress drably, and cease shopping, nor that we should give up fitness goals and forgo exercise. I certainly dress up and put my best face forward when the occasion calls for it, and I like a cute pair of shoes just as much as the next girl. And of course staying fit offers numerous benefits for our physical, mental, and emotional health. What I am saying is that we need to keep things in perspective and not let our appearance define us. Our appearance does not determine our worth. What determines our worth is the fact that we live and breathe.
The God of the universe formed our bodies and breathed life into us. He was intentional in creating us, and he loves us unconditionally. We are His precious, one-of-a-kind works of art. He made us each with unique qualities and unique personalities. And He placed us each on earth in a specific time and space, with unique journeys and unique intersections with each other.
God was purposeful in making each of us, and He made us each for a purpose. That is what gives our lives meaning. That is what matters. And that is the beauty of it all.
“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” – Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)
